Assistance
by the Sin Hunter Alchemist
Summary: Hawkeye's on vacation for a few weeks, and Roy, as the new Furher, needs a temporary assistant. Luckly, Ed's around. RoyEd. though it takes a while for Ed to notice .
1. Chapter 1

AN: Okay, so here's the timeline. It is three years after the series, Roy _is_ missing an eye (just because eye patches are sexy), Ed is still with the military (just because _Roy_ is sexy .), he has his real limbs, Al is finally a real boy, living in Risembowl with Winry (I can't write Al very well). That's about it. The second part of the first chapter is added on cause I'm dumb and forgot to check the chapter before I uploaded the story. Sorry I keep updating this for the three people that have me on alert. is dumb and doesn't show add in the spaces I put between scenes. Enjoy.

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Edward Elric was many things. He was a genius for one (no one could deny that). He was determined (stubborn really, but he'd never admit it). He was also rather . . . short.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY'D GET CARRIED AWAY BY A GUST OF WIND?"

He just really didn't like that last one being mentioned.

"FullMetal, for the sake of my sanity, SHUT UP!"

And Roy Mustang really liked to mention it. In his defense, today he had _not_ mentioned it. He had simply greeted his subordinate as he would anyone else in his charge.

And in the boy's defense, Ed did look sheepish as he realized this.

"Sorry," he muttered, a scarlet hew rushing across his face. He looked down at his feet, not feeling like the genius he was.

The Furher (as of the death of the old one and a long talk with many of the men of the military (really what man could resist the miniskirt movement?)) sighed, wondering why on Earth he put up with this day in and day out.

Though Ed was getting slightly better at controlling his outbursts. And now he would even apologize for them sometimes. Someplace in the back of his mind Roy questioned whether or not apologies would matter to those the boy turned deaf.

"As I was about to say," he continued, leveling Edward with a stern look. The boy shifted but stayed silent, "You are being reassigned for the next few weeks."

At this twin eyebrows rose, threatening to be lost in a blond hairline.

"Reassigned to _what_?" he quipped, scowling at the smirk that appeared on the Furher's face.

"You will be assisting me with my daily tasks seeing as Hawkeye has taken some time off work."

She hadn't called it that. Her actual words were "Furher, I am requesting time away from this office. Please temporarily reassign me to some country where I won't have to put up with your immaturity and sexual harassment- no, Furher, it is _not_ appropriate to comment on how a woman's miniskirt is riding up! If it hadn't been for you I would not have to worry about a miniskirt riding up!"

There had also been a few choice words about his sex life, questions on his sexuality, and a brief spat over whether or not shooting the Furher is a capital offence. Luckily, the Furher had won that argument.

"What?" Ed replied, face blank though his right eye twitched once.

"I believe you heard me, FullMetal," came the smooth voice of the Flame Alchemist. "You will start officially tomorrow morning."

Again the eye twitched, but the blond had more important things to think about than a malfunctioning eye.

"Officially?"

Here the smirk just became smug, and Ed desperately wanted to see if he could get away with kicking the man's face in. This would not be good.

"Yes, tomorrow is your first day on schedule, but I need some assistance now, and you're here already, so . . ."

………………………………………………………………………………...

Yes, Ed mused some twenty minutes later, this was certainly _not_ good. In fact, this was bad, verging on horrible.

Edward was currently dusting the Furher's office. He had been sure that it wouldn't take that long, not with Hawkeye usually looking over Roy's shoulder all day. _Surely _she would have picked up a dust rag, she _was_ known for disliking the very concept of dirt and grim.

When Ed had climbed onto a leather couch (it had been pushed against a book case in order to reach the top) (he hated to admit that he could just barely reach now) he had seen how untrue that was.

Grumbling to himself, the boy continued his task. Occasionally, he would glare at Roy, who just sat back and watched, smirking. Thoughts of kicking in the man's face returned- it was still a large offense for some reason.

"Have you done the encyclopedias yet, FullMetal?"

Shoulders tensed and the boy nearly fell off the couch.

"No, I _haven't_ done the encyclopedias yet," he ground out from between clenched teeth. He had good reason to be angry though. The Furher kept a large supply of encyclopedias, several book cases were full of nothing but, and it seemed as if they had never been touched.

"Well, get to it then, I really don't have time for this you know. I'm the Furher now, leader of the military. I have many important things to do," Roy stated in the 'you really should consider bowing down before my glory' tone. Ed leveled him with a blank stare.

"If you have so much to do," he said slowly, "then why don't you do them now?"

The Flame Alchemist shrugged, looking far too at ease. A suggestive expression crossed his face, but Ed had already went back to dusting.

"Actually, FullMetal, my view is far too good at the moment to waste on work."

This time Ed did fall off the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: For anyone that has not reread Chapter 1 since I added part two to it, do that now before reading this. It makes you laugh. Oh, and there's a lot of hints at unconsciousness in this chapter. I'm was so tired writing this. If it suddenly just goes off all random, go with it, it'll get back to the point sooner or later. I'm taking requests for what should be in chapter three. If you want me to update, I'd suggest sending some ideas. I know what happens in chapter 4 though. You all will _love_ chapter four. So, sooner I get ideas, the sooner I write chapter 3. The sooner I write chapter 3, the sooner you get chapter 4. I'll give you one hint, military uniform. Guess what that's about and you get a cameo. Or cookie, whatever.

Sorry for the repost. And thank you Lina for pointing out the mistake with his eyes! (or lack there of) I wrote the last scene before I decided Roy didn't have both eyes and forgot to change it.

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The office was silent, something that rarely occurred in any of the Central offices. Especially not between the current two occupants of the room.

Edward was sitting in front of a very large book shelf, an ancient tome in his lap. When he first started to read, he kept glancing over towards the man sitting at the desk, Roy Mustang. He had been sure that the Furher would have told him off and given him some other horrible chore for reading the old text. After all, he _was_ supposed to be dusting, which, obviously, he _wasn't_ doing.

Now, the city could have been bombed and he would have never noticed he was so deep into the book.

Roy himself was perfectly aware of Ed's doings. He had been staring at the boy for the past five minutes, thoroughly amused with the expressions that flitted over that young face.

Truthfully, he didn't care if his office was dusted. He probably would never pick up any of those books again. The ones he used were at home in his personal library.

He briefly considered allowing Edward to take what he wanted from the shelves, it would probably make the boy's year. He decided to wait until he could get something out of that arrangement after seeing a look of awe flash in those amber eyes. He would see how much the other wanted that knowledge before he would give up his leverage. Equivalent exchange was a good thing.

Both were completely immersed in their chosen study, so neither heard the knock at the door, nor the noise it made as the hinges creaked open.

"Furher!"

The man jumped, nearly falling out of his chair. That was nothing compared to Ed's reaction.

It seemed as if the blond had not registered the word, just that he heard it and thought it to have come from Roy. Snapping the book shut with a mighty thud, he shot up, hand working like lightning to wipe the dust from old book spines.

"I'm dusting!" he cried, moving towards the right so he could dust those books.

Roy and Havoc, the man who had burst into the room just now, were both watching him with raised eyebrows. It _was_ rather comical. The poor boy had still yet to discover that it wasn't him that had been yelled at, but the Furher.

And it was then that Ed tried to move further right only to trip over the book he had just stopped reading.

"FullMetal," Roy said, smirk back in place. "You _can_ slow down you know. In fact, take a break, it seems Havoc has something to tell us, don't you Major?"

Havoc blinked, finally pulling his gaze from boy. Quite recently he had been promoted up to major, and he was still getting used to answering to it. No one really knew why he had been promoted, but Roy was known for doing weird things.

"Ri-ight," he drawled, unlit cigarette bobbing up and down with his lips. "Seems we've got a situation downstairs, Furher."

"Situation?" Roy asked, sitting up a little bit straighter at the news, eye brow high.

"Yeah," replied Havoc, speaking slower than usual. He almost seemed like he was weighing Roy's reaction, looking for something. "Some pregnant lady's causing a fuss."

Gold eyes narrowed on the major, almost knowing what he was getting at. The Furher had realized it too, but he would humor the man for another moment or so.

"Continue," he said, voice nothing except professional. He saw the gleam in the other man's eye at the prod.

"She keeps screaming, throwing an all out fit," he recited. "Says the baby's yours."

There was a thud as Edward fainted.

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"Boss, wake up!"

Someone was slapping his cheeks. He didn't think he appreciated that very much, so he rolled over.

"Dammit, Edward, wake up!"

Blurry, golden eyes opened, slowly focusing in on the room around him.

Above him stood Havoc, a _glaring_ Havoc in fact. He did not look in the least bit happy about any of the things that were going on today. He had just wanted to see Roy freak out, thinking he might have fathered an illegitimate child.

Instead, he gets to take care of the kid of the military. Okay, to be fair, Ed _ws_ nineteen now. But he could probably pull off fourteen so easily it was frightening.

"What the hell's going on?" Ed mumbled, rubbing his head. Why did he always hit his head?

Havoc rolled his eyes.

"Just trying to deliver a message to the Furher," he stated sharply, staring down his noise at the boy. "Didn't know I'd be left to baby sit when you fainted."

Edward returned the look, mood much darker than it had been when he was dusting.

"Hey," he snapped back at the major, "it's not like I asked you to watch me! If you hadn't just said what you did, I wouldn't have fainted to begin with!"

The glaring match continued for a moment longer. It was interrupted by a large yawn from Havoc.

"So," he said at length, registering the awkwardness that now filled the room. "What wer-"

"Was it true?"

The man, startled by the outburst, just stared at him for a minute. Then he frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

Ed blushed, looking away.

"The thing about the pregnant lady."

"_Oh_," Havoc drawled, his frown now converting into a rather wide grin, "_that_. Nope."

The boy dead panned.

"_What_?"

"Made it up." Seeing the expression he was given, he hastily amended himself. "Not by me. I wouldn't come up with a story like that. Might tell him he's got a girl saying he gave her syphilis. That'd be funny. The pregnant lady that's ranting is a loon; _she_ made up the whole thing, all by herself."

The boy nodded, still giving Havoc a wary look, slouching in his seat.

"So-o," the major said, sprawling across the opposite couch. "What are you doing in here anyway?"

A shrug was his response.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, sitting up again. "Give the gossip! There's gotta be a reason you're here. The Furher never lets anyone in his office, don't matter _how_ quiet they're being."

Those golden eyes glared darkly at him from underneath the long bangs.

The older man sighed, rolling his cigarette back and forth between his lips. How he managed to do both would forever be a mystery to the boy genius. He decided then that chain smokers are just strange, strange creations.

"Look, boss, we both know you're here for a reason." He spoke slowly, as if he were explaining this to a child. "I just wanna know what that reason is. You don't _have_ to tell me, but I can keep your life from getting any harder that it is now if you just let me in on whatever secret you've decided to keep."

Blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes, Edward only shrugged.

"I don't believe you could make my life any easier. You don't have that kind of power."

"No," Havoc agreed, a wicked look crossing his face. "But I _can_ make it harder."

The blond's eyes narrowed at the threat. Was the man really that stupid?

"Are you threatening a superior, Havoc?" he gritted out between clenched teeth.

"Nope." The pure glee in the other's voice was apparent. "We're both majors now."

The boy blinked. Once, then twice. On the third time he cursed, Mustang's name somewhere in the middle.

"See, no harm, no foul. Yet."

"You're not going to intimidate me with your childish threats," Ed said at length, looking far too fidgety to be confident with that assessment. "You can't do anything to make my life any harder anyway, so that tactic won't work."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" the man said sweetly, rising from his seat.

At that moment the door swung open and Roy entered the room looking exhausted.

"You're dismissed Havoc," he said lightly. There was no hint of malice behind it, but both could feel the annoyance that lay under that calm face.

The second the door closed behind the chain smoker, Ed too was on his feet.

"You have really _got_ to do something about him, Mustang," he grumbled.

"Really?"

The blond glanced at Roy, noting the blank look on his face. An idea struck him.

"Yeah. He's too damn nosey for his own good. You think so too, right?"

The Furher shrugged, slumping into his chair. He seemed older for a moment, a tired look on his face. A blink later, and it was gone.

"Why'd you have to promote him, anyway? Now we're the same rank."

A black eye rose to meet amber.

"You wish to be a higher rank than Havoc?" he questioned, slightly surprised.

"Hell yeah!" Edward exclaimed, now standing in front of the desk. "The man's trying to intimidate me, black mail me! Before, all I had to do was say insubordination, and he'd back down. Now, no can do, we're of equal status."

"Ah."

They were silent for a long moment. Ed sweat dropped, realizing Roy had not intention of elaborating on that. Seriously, what the hell did an 'ah' mean?

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"_Well_," the boy growled, his temper starting to rise. Oh dear, and he had been doing so well to contain it. "Are you going to reject my request or not?"

A devious look crossed the man's face.

"That depends; do I get something for promoting you, _Edward_?"

Ed reeled back, staring wide-eyed at the man. Did he really just say that?

"Wh-what do you mean by 'get something'?" he asked, suddenly nervous. That eye turned positively feral at this. It couldn't have looked more predatory if Roy had actually been some type of animal, hunting his prey.

Ed was pretty sure he was the prey.

"Edward, _really_, you're a genius. You can figure out what I mean."

In the next moment he found a set of lips against his own and his eye grew even wider. Roy was kissing him! _Roy_! A single black eye stared into his own amber ones. A gloved hand found his neck and the kiss was deepened.

Ed couldn't help from letting out a small noise. Later, he would hope desperately that it had not been a whimper, anything but a whimper. Presently, however, he couldn't put a single word together, much less a thought.

Just as suddenly as it started , it was over.

Ed opened his eyes (when had they even closed?) to see the Flame Alchemist sitting before him, appearing as composed as ever- strong chin resting on a crooked wrist, face the perfect picture of smug. And he had every tight to be. He _had_ just 'caught the canary', as some may be pressed to put it.

'It's not fair,' Ed thought distantly, panting slightly.

The one and only difference from normality was the hand that still lay across his neck. A shudder ran through him as rough fingers stroked against his spinal cord.

Then the hand too was gone and _everything_ was finally back to normal.

"I'll see you in the morning then, FullMetal."

With a muted nod, Edward fled the room.


End file.
